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| Credits of background photo to Jong Fui Fa |
Dear fellow Kuching people. After
discussion with everyone I know, and I agree to stand in as a candidate for the
upcoming 13th General Election. As I know running a campaign will take a
lot of money, but you don't have to worry I have figured everything out on how
to get it done without using much resources apart from the RM5000
deposit. And of course, just to let you know that someone had offered me
USD1.8 Million for the bowl, so I think I should be good to go for this coming
election.
In the past 2011 Sarawak State
Election, there are a total of 8,126 spoilt votes. And these votes can be translated as protest
votes, or those who do not know who to vote for. And unfortunately for these spoilt votes they
have no say in the state government. So
I have decided to be the voice of the voiceless where the party I'm standing on
is ABP which is "Aku Bukan Penipu" Party. Here are the list of our Election Manifesto
and code of conduct for ABP.
Anti Hopping Law
In this party we do not condone party hopping in
regardless of the price that is given by any party. Should one of the party members decided to
declare independent and breaks the code of ABP.
The candidate will be shot dead, and a by election will be call. No question asked.
Against Any Form of Corruption
Should any candidates is found guilty of
corruption even 1 cent. The candidate
will first need to repay 4 times the amount of what he has taken, whereby twice
the amount corrupted will be rewarded to the whistle blower, while the
remaining balance will be returned to people.
Plus the candidate will be shot dead, and a by election will be call. No
question asked.
Service Centre
ABP will not have any service centres, because WE
are the service centre. You can locate
us using Foursquare or Facebook, where we will check in wherever we are. So if you need any of us, we will always be
moving around among the people, because we were voted in by the people. Plus it will save cost with office rental,
electricity, water bills, and misc. And
also you won’t get to see us only once in every 5 years, when election draws
near.
You will also be given our phone numbers which
will only be available during office hours 8am to 5pm. So you can call or sms to us should you have
any problems we will get back to you and see what we can do.
Dan Lain-Lain
OK, whatever I forgot to mention above will be
added here later. So feel free to leave
a comment, and follow me on twitter should you have any suggestion on what ABP
should do or don’t do.
Our Theme Song – Have A Little Faith In Me
So give me a mandate for 5 years to make Kuching
a better place. If not also, do kindly
like or +1 the status that brought you here, just because it’s April Fool’s Day
:D Have a nice day, and you can get back
to work now.
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